I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night despite having had a great (and early day), a plentiful serving of Madmen, and just enough time to doodle before turning out the light. It has become very apparent that I have one goal for this upcoming year. While it's nice to have narrowed it to one certain goal, the goal itself happens to be so humongous when I consider it that my imagination goes running to hide in a dark little corner of my brain.
You see... I feel like my imagination and my creative energy are spread among too many venues. I love so many mediums and have so many ideas and my hands are naturally inclined to so many skills. I see a beautiful lace pattern and I imagine an installation of mossy netting with magical phrases hidden in a mess of rosettes, lattice, and filet. I'm introduced to a new artist who creates the most beautiful texture on her pots and all of a sudden I'm pinching a new series of cups out with my fingers and they look wonderful and nothing like anything I've every made before. An embroidered self-portrait assignment throws me into a Willy-Wonka-factory-dream of patterns, colors, and textures. A collection of antique bottles inspires a series of art nouveau inspired perfume bottles, a fantastic workshop results in a set of whimsical and expressive masks, a new technique leads to a series of pillow saucers, and a glance back to the sculptural work I produced last semester rekindles a forgotten love.
I feel like I'm constantly spinning the wheel of fortune and landing on a different prize every time. Which would be fantastic if I were interested in just collecting ideas... but I'm not. I look at the bodies of work from artists I admire and the cohesiveness tugs on the coattails of my thoughts. How are you going to get anywhere or become great at anything if you can't focus yourself, I hear. And then another voice, who cares, create whatever you want to. At the moment, however, the former is louder and more nagging.
So my goal this year? Create a cohesive body of work.
I know it sounds kinda big and unrealistic and naive... but I've gotta. I'm getting closer and closer to 30 every year (don't laugh), and I want to have something so show for myself come my fourth decade. Heck, I want to have something to show for my senior project next year! So I've got one idea for how I'm going to attempt this-- Making a list. I know, I know... not a huge flash of genius but it's all I've got at the moment. I'm going to make a list of how many pieces I want done by the end of the summer as well as which forms.
Ugh, even that seems silly when written down.
Please help... I'm so unbelievably frustrated.